Editor’s Note: This article contains graphic content that some readers may find disturbing
The life of a movie critic, at first glance, is desirable. Watch movies all day, give your opinion on them, repeat. Who wouldn’t want that? But as you dig deeper, you realize that one has to watcheverymovie, the goodandthe bad, and judge its merits on more than just simply liking, or not liking, it.Roger Ebert, perhaps the most famed movie critic of all time,was very good at it, leading to him being the first film critic to win a Pulitzer Prize for Criticism in 1975. His reviews were articulate and his rating of a film carried weight,turning attention to underrated filmslike 2002’sRipley’s Gameand 1995’sLeaving Las Vegas, andsteering moviegoers awayfrom the likes ofJaws: The RevengeandDeuce Bigalow: European Gigolo(his review of the latter kicked offa feud between him and actorRob Schneider). Simply put, the man was never short of words to say about any film and fearlessly rated films as he saw fit. That is, with one notable exception:The Human Centipede, which Ebert flat out refused to give a rating.
‘The Human Centipede’ Is Body Horror at Its Most Disturbing
Two American tourists in Germany, Lindsay (Ashley C. Williams) and Jenny (Ashlynn Yennie), are on their way to a nightclub when they get a flat tire. They make their way to a nearby house, hoping to get some help. Unfortunately, there is no help here as the house belongs to the psychoticDr. Josef Heiter (Dieter Laser), a retired surgeon with expertise in separating conjoined twins. He drugs the women, and then takes them to his ad hoc medical ward. The two women join another captive, a Japanese tourist by the name of Katsuro (Akihiro Kitamura). Heiter has kidnapped the three as part of his depraved dream to make a new “creature” by sewing humans together, mouth-to-anus, with a single digestive system. Lindsay tries to make a break for it but is unsuccessful, and as punishment, Heiter appoints her to be the middle part of his centipede. Heiter then begins the surgery, with Katsuro at the front, Lindsay in the middle, and Jenny at the back. The upper and lower front teeth are removed from Lindsay and Jenny, along with their lips. Katsuro and Lindsay’s buttocks are mutilated, allowing Heiter access to their rectums. In order to force his creation to crawl, Heiter severs the knee ligaments of the three. With the operation complete, Heiter escorts the centipede to his living room, where he takes photos and allows each “segment” to view themselves in a mirror. He then works towards breaking the wills of the victims so that they fall into obedience as a single creature. Heiter cages his creation in a dog kennel, forces Katsuro to eat dog food at dinner, repeatedly insults Katsuro, and beats him with a crop at the sign of any rebellion. Unable to stop, Katsuro defecates, forcing Lindsay to swallow it whole.
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Over the next days, Heiter grows increasingly irritated by the screaming of Katsuro and the moaning of the women, finally threatening them with removing their vocal cords if they don’t stop. The centipede tries to escape at the first opportunity but is unable, leading Heiter to beat all three victims with the crop. Soon, two detectives, Kranz (Andreas Leupold) and Voller (Peter Blankenstein), show up at the house, investigating the disappearance of the three tourists. Their arrival gives Heiter a chilling idea: With Jenny dying from sepsis, he can use the two officers as replacements, creating a four-segment centipede. His attempts to drug the detectives fail, however, prompting them to obtain a search warrant for his home. After the detectives leave, the victims make one last-ditch effort to escape, with Katsuro attacking Heiter. When the attempt fails, Katsuro commits suicide by slitting his throat with a glass shard, admitting that his fate is some karmic justice for the sins of his past. When the detectives return, they separate to search the house. Voller, beginning to feel the effects of Heiter’s drugging earlier, is stabbed with a scalpel by Heiter. Kranz, who finds the ward and the three victims, is shot by Heiter but manages to shoot Heiter in the head before dying. With hope lost, Lindsay holds Jenny’s hands as she succumbs to sepsis. Now completely alone and trapped between the deceased Katsuro and Jenny, all Lindsay can do is weep.
Why Did Roger Ebert Not Rate ‘The Human Centipede’?
The Human Centipede,inspired by the horrific experiments of infamous NaziDr. Josef Mengele(the name of the doctor in the film is almost like an amalgam of Mengele and Adolf Hitler), is a difficult one to even write about, let alone watch. But to Ebert’s credit, he doesn’t outright rip the film to shreds.His review of the filmstarts off by acknowledging that he will be dropping spoilers for the film as a warning for those on the outside of the hardcore horror circle thinking of seeing the film about its graphic nature. Despite having an undeserved reputation forhating horror movies, Ebert admits to a degree of admiration for directorTom Six, stating that within Six there lies the “soul of a dark artist” who treats his material “with utter seriousness.” He comparesThe Human Centipedeto an old Hammer horror film,Scream… and Scream Again, a film that has a darkly comic undertone that actorsVincent Price,Christopher Lee, andPeter Cushinghad fun with, unlike Laser, who plays the role of Dr. Heiter with “relentless sincerity.” Six’s effective use of the setting, along with his knack for turning horror into tragedy in particular scenes, also earns credit from the legendary movie critic.
We then get to the famed moment of the review where Ebert refuses to awardThe Human Centipedeany stars. “I am required to award stars to movies I review,” he begins, “This time, I refuse to do it. The star rating system is unsuited to this film.” It’s a moment that Ebert foreshadows earlier in his review, where he states his attempts to take a generic approach to critiquing films aks the questions: Is the film true to its genre, and does it deliver what its audiences expect?The Human Centipede, he cedes, scores high on both accounts. The star system, as a result, means nothing for a film like this. Those who enjoy the graphic nature of these types of films will go regardless of how many stars Ebert awards it, while those turned off by his account of the film will avoid it regardless of, again, how many stars Ebert awards, and in that regard, Ebert is absolutely correct in his decision.
He ends his review with a summation of that very logic: “Is the movie good? Is it bad? Does it matter? It is what it is and occupies a world where the stars don’t shine.” For Ebert, however,The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence)lacks any token of artistic merit, citing the film as “reprehensible, dismaying, ugly, artless, and an affront to any notion, however remote, of human decency.” No stars, but a big thumbs down. And while Ebert had passed away before its release, he was probably thankful that it was criticSimon Abramswho was made to sit throughThe Human Centipede III (Final Sequence)and not himself.
