Over the last week, as America has discoveredJoe Exoticand his new Netflix docuseriesTiger King, I’ve seen some inspired casting choices for the inevitable movie based on the show… and I’ve seen some terrible ones. The problem with the fantasy casts that I’ve seen is that none of them feel particularly cohesive. Writers just choose actors who look like the wacky people inTiger King, without any regard to whether those actors would work well together, or if people would even pay to see that movie. Now, if Netflix is as smart as I think it is, the streamer has already locked down the rights to make a two-hour feature film based onTiger King, so it’s up for debate if this would even be a theatrical play, but for the purpose of this exercise, I want you to imagine it is. Imagine it’s a big summer movie from Universal Pictures, because that’s the kind of movie I have in mind.
As far as casting goes, you have to decide what version of this you want to make. As horrible as animal abuse is, I think theTiger Kingmovie would have to be played for laughs. It’s clearly a comedy, albeit one with danger, kind of likeAce Ventura: Pet Detective. It has to be a little in on the joke, but at the same time, willing to play it straight, which given this cast of characters, might even be funnier. So for the purposes of this article, I want you to imagine we’re making the type of rare studio comedy that can be a global hit. One driven by big stars, and from a director with comedy experience who the industry respects. And really, the director is the key to this whole article, as in all likelihood, they’re the ones signing off on casting. So let’s start there, and then delve into the wild world of Joe Exotic, his arch-nemesisCarole Baskinand more than a dozen other characters, though keep in mind that cuts had to be made, all due respect toTim StarkandDoc Antle’s three wives.
David Gordon Green as Director (with Danny McBride as his co-writer)
David Gordon Greenis a good filmmaker, so that helps, especially when you have to turn a seven-hour documentary into a two-hour movie. Choices must be made, people! Green directedPineapple Express, which made just over $100 million worldwide. HisHalloweensequel made over $250 million worldwide. He’s a proven commercial filmmaker with indie sensibilities, and I’ll tell you what gave him the edge here over folks likeChristopher GuestandHarmony Korine– his films demonstrate a certain understanding of the South, and all that entails. This is a guy who can find the laughs in this story, the horror in this story, and the humanity amid this insanity. He would also co-write the script with his frequent collaboratorDanny McBride, who could play any number of characters… or none at all.
Ben Stiller as Joe Exotic
Ben Stillerreally doesn’t get the credit he deserves. He’s been focused on directing lately, but he’s still a movie star.Tropic ThunderandTower Heistmade more than $150 million worldwide,There’s Something About Marymade well over $300 million worldwide, whileMeet the ParentsandNight at the Museumare billion-dollar franchises. Peoplelikewatching this guy. He’s one of the biggest comedy movie stars of the past 20 years, if not the biggest. He’s also good with accents, and can pull off Joe Exotic’s crazy facial hair. Sure, I could seeMichael Keatonin the indie version of this story, and I thinkJames Francowould be great, too, but I don’t know how that pick would fare with audiences. I’m trying to keep the “average Joes” (shoutout to all theDodgeballfans) interested in thisTiger Kingmovie, not Film Twitter. Stiller would make a meal out of a part like this, and we know he’s willing to humiliate himself on camera thanks to multiple scenes inMary. Joe Exotic is kind of a lovable loser, and I think that kind of part is within Stiller’s wheelhouse.
Melissa McCarthy or Kristen Wiig as Carole Baskin
Remember what I was saying earlier about danger? Carole is a woman who you have to be able to picture greeting all the “cool cats and kittens” out there on camera, and by day, feeding her husband to the tigers off-camera..Melissa McCarthyis, simply put, one of the funniest women on the planet, and yet you can also see her committing mariticide. Plus, there’s a ready-made role forBen Falconeright there! We’ve all wanted to see him eaten by a tiger, right?Kristen Wiigis another comedienne who would nail this part, and though we haven’t really seen her villainous side yet, we will this summer whenWonder Woman 1984(hopefully) hits theaters. There’s a reason she won that role in the first place, but for now, I’d have to give the edge to McCarthy. Give her a pair of big earrings, some tiger-print clothing and some ice-blue contact lenses, and she’s good to go.The GoldbergsstarWendi McClendon-Coveywould be an inspired choice as well, whileSNL’sKate McKinnonis ineligible, as she’s set to play Baskin in a narrative TV series based on the Wonder podcast about Joe and Carole.
Will Ferrell as Doc Antle
One of the juiciest roles in this entire circus, this may have been the hardest to cast, simply because there was so much competition.Tim Robbinswould be perfect, but he’s not a draw like he used to be.Owen Wilsonwould be good too, and I loved the chemistry he and Stiller have shared onscreen over the years, but I have another role in mind for him. The same goes forBob Odenkirk, who would also be a strong pick. But I think the right choice for Doc Antle is the obvious choice, and that would have to be Will Ferrell. I mean, heisBhagavan. And a Stiller-McCarthy-Ferrell pairing would make for quite the comedy trio.
Woody Harrelson as Jeff Lowe
ForJeff Lowe, you need someone who is going to be a little intimidating, and who still has some sex appeal to younger women. Someone who is clearly balding and wears a hat to hide it, but whom you wouldn’t be surprised to hear is dating a woman half his age. Someone you can imagine yelling at Joe Exotic, and looking for the best spot along a bike path to shoot Carole. That left me with four choices –Sean Penn,Bruce Willis,Michael Keaton, andWoody Harrelson. And yes, I knowTobin Belllooksjust likeJeff Lowe, but at 77 years old, he may have aged out of the role, and either way, as I said earlier, you have to think in terms of a big studio comedy. When I think of the part inthoseterms, I’m left with Woody, and I’d point you towards his performance inKingpin. If you gave Roy Munson a million dollars, are you telling me he wouldn’t blow the money on an orgy mansion in Vegas and buy an exotic zoo in Oklahoma? Keaton deservessomekind of part in this movie, and I really, really wanted to cast Penn as Lowe, if only for the screaming matches, but if I’m trying to get laughs, Woody is the guy I want on set every day.
Jesse Plemons as Joshua Dial
Joshua Dialwas one of the harder roles for me to cast, as he comes across as a relatively decent guy, but then again, you have to wonder, what reasonably intelligent person would get mixed up with Joe Exotic? There’s something refreshingly wholesome about Dial, but also something a little naive, and frankly, a little creepy. After all, this is a guy who agreed to become Joe Exotic’s campaign manager. That was never going to end well for him.Jesse Plemonshas a bit of “aw shucks” to him, where you could see him accepting a job like that, and sticking it out when times get tough, and trying to make the most of the opportunity. but at the end of the day, he goes back to his job at Walmart, having been traumatized for life after witnessing a suicide. That’s the beauty of Jesse Plemons. He can playWhitey Bulger’s loyal enforcer inBlack Mass, or the kind of midwestern family man who you’d never believe would hurt anyone onFargo. I really liked what he brought to the 2018 comedyGame Night, and after playing the “weird one” in that movie, I could see him playing the “normal one” in this one.
Pete Davidson or Post Malone as John Finlay
A tattooed guy with messed up teeth who can play gay? That would bePete Davidson, who has actually played gay in bothSet It UpandWhat Men Want. Plus, he’s a budding movie star, and would benefit from working with all these comedy heavyweights. MaybeJudd Apatowcould put in a good word for him? There’s also tough guys likeShia LaBeoufandTom Hardy, both of whom are great actors and true leads, and that’s why I can’t really see either one playing a small role in a movie like this. You know who Icouldsee though?Post Malone! I’m not even kidding. I think he’s funny – I loved hisHot Onesepisode – and think he’s very watchable onscreen. He’s still a little green as an actor, but it’s not like this would require too much heavy lifting. He could pull it off if Davidson turned down my fake offer. If both of them passed, I’d offer it to rising starTony Cavalero, who plays Keefe onThe Righteous Gemstones.
James Franco or Ezra Miller as Travis Maldonado
Travis is tall, tan and beautiful, and even though he’s straight, he convinced Joe Exotic that he was gay. I’d sayJames Francowould be great for this part too, but as I noted before, casting him in a big studio movie may be problematic, which is why I’d keepEzra Milleron standby. Franco and Miller are both a hair under six feet tall, and they both look good with the scruffy mustache-goatee combo. There’s a softer side to each actor that would also serve them well in this role at least until, you know, the gunplay starts. Miller was pretty funny in Apatow’sTrainwreck, but Franco worked with ourTiger Kingdirector Green before onPineapple Express, so if he’s willing to start his comeback with this eye candy supporting role, the role is his. Either way, it’s all about the cheekbones, baby!
Dave Franco as Dillon Passage
If you cast one Franco, you have to cast the other. I think that’s an actual rule here in Hollywood. I’ve seen a lot ofZac Efrontalk regardingDillon Passage, but that’s not who Dillon Passage is. He’s not the guy flaunting his abs inNeighbors. No, he’s the guy behind that guy, the loyal pal who knows he’s not the star of the show, but is aware that the star needs him. He’s not an alpha, but he’s loyal, and willing to stand by his man even though Joe is in jail. That’s the kind of guy Dave Franco is. He’s your buddy through thick and thin. He’s the Franco you can trust.
Werner Herzog or Bob Odenkirk as Rick Kirkman
Werner Herzog or Bob Odenkirk as Rick Kirkham
This was another tough one, because there’s really no one else like Rick on the show. He was a well-liked journalist with a wild streak, and he sniffed out the potential of Joe Exotic early on, recognizing that with proper production value, he could make a fun show about the guy. The bottom line is, the guy is a storyteller. He’s a good talker.Bob Odenkirkis a hell of a talker himself, as evidenced by his turn as Saul Goodman on bothBetter Call SaulandBreaking Bad. Plus, he looks damn good in a cowboy hat. Unfortunately…Rick Kirkhamis the one role I would really mess around with and have fun with.Christopher Walkenis one way you could take it, but I have an even better one –Werner Herzog. Think about it… Kirkham is a filmmaker. He’s the one calling the shots. Can you imagine Werner freakin' Herzog commenting documenting the proceedings inTiger King, offering his unique commentary along the way. You wouldn’t even have to write his lines, you could just let him improvise. I think it would be amazing, and i bet Rick Kirkham would agree. How could you possibly be disappointed by that idea?
