Being a reality TV writer means staying up-to-date onpopular reality TV shows, which sometimes means watching shows I don’t necessarily enjoy.TheBachelorNationshows tend to fall into this category. But as Season 29 ofThe Bachelorjust began – starring a particularly charmingGrant Ellisas its lead – I decided to give it a chance.
Just two episodes into the new season, I realized something that I hadn’t quite picked up on while watching earlier seasons within the franchise. I realized that, for me,watchingThe Bachelorsomehow feels worse than watchingThe Bachelorette– that I dislikeThe Bachelormorethan its spin-off, despite the fact that both shows follow the same concept with the only difference being the gender of each season’s lead and those vying for their affections. I immediately began to wonder why this is and did a deep dive into my own psyche to try and figure it out. Here’s what I came up with:
‘The Bachelor’ Reinforces Stereotypes and Highlights Double Standards That Women Face
The Bachelorreinforces the social norm that women should “compete” against each otherand especially for a man’s attention – a norm that has been reinforced across media, the beauty industry, and by all the additional and more stringent standards of beauty and performance that women face because of it. This may be why, inEpisode 2 of Season 29ofThe Bachelor, watchingZoe McGradyandAlli Jo Hinkesgo back and forth “stealing” Grant’s attention was particularly difficult for me to watch. This source of awkward tension occurs so often that it’s become known in the franchise as the“Can I steal you?” drama, which is almost exclusively associated with the women onThe Bachelor.
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The Bacheloralsoreinforces the stereotype that women aredesperate to be married, so much so that they’re willing to compete on a reality TV show for a one in twenty-five chance of it. While the men featured onThe Bacheloretteare doing the same thing as the women onThe Bachelor,the “desperate” stereotype isn’t generally one assigned to men. These considerations then led me to confront my own ingrained biases, that perhaps I also view women more critically than men, that maybe I judgethe women ofThe Bachelormore harshly than the men ofThe Bachelorette.
‘The Bachelorette’ Provides a Better Escape From Reality Than ‘The Bachelor’
In realizing my own discomfort with watching the women ofThe Bachelorcompete forthe affection of one man– discomfort that doesn’t seem to be nearly as potent while watching the men ofThe Bachelorette– I realized that, in some ways, I’m subscribing to the very stereotypes and double standards women face thatThe Bachelorreinforces. I then found myself uncertain ifthe problem lies withThe Bacheloror within myself. The answer is likely both, butthese questions simply don’t arise on behalf of watchingThe Bachelorette.
Both shows havea low success ratein terms of delivering on their concept and a history of casting people who are looking for fame over love; both capitalize onthe emotional hardship and subsequent dramathat results from contestants being under such high-pressure conditions. ButThe Bacheloretteis easier for me to watch becauseit doesn’t prompt me to consider the stereotypes and double standards that women face in society– and which of those I may have unconsciously taken on myself – quite likeThe Bachelordoes. In short,The Bacheloretteis easier to space out on, and if there’s one thing reality TV is supposed to be, it’s an escape from reality.
The Bachelor
